Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Getting Dumped 101 For Guys

Getting Dumped 101 For Guys by the master of getting dumped himself, Dave Avran Frequently, when a woman decides to dump a man, she wants to do it her way and be in total control of the process. This usually involves a long "sharing" or "processing" session where she tries to cushion the blow so that she can feel a minimal amount of guilt and discomfort. When getting the axe, the average guy goes along with this female agenda, allowing the woman to feel good about herself while he, at best, gets his hopes dashed, or worse, his heart ripped out. So allow me to clue you in on taking control and short-circuiting your "girlfriend's" game plan. It would have been a mistake to meet with her and have a "heart to heart" talk so that she could have assuaged her own guilt while you would have wound up with the booby prize (no pun intended). If your woman utters any of the following five phrases, get ready to kiss her cute ‘lil ass goodbye for the last time. There are certain telltale phrases that a woman will use that immediately signal the demise of your relationship with her. As shocking and hurtful as it may be to be ambushed by one of these zingers, if any one of the following quotes comes out of her mouth, you should pull the plug on the whole deal right then and there, bow out gracefully and cut off all future contact. Keep in mind that she won't like it when you take control and throw a monkey wrench into her plan. Why not? Because she's not getting to drop you the way she was planning to. Let her protest, whine or blame you - you may see a dark side of her come out that you never knew existed. And don't get sucked into this "We need to have closure" bull. "Closure" is Womanese for "let's have a long talk where I can sell you on why it makes sense for us to break up so that I don't feel like the bad guy." So here is a list of The Top 5 Female Brush-Off Phrases that are most frequently used by the lovelies who are gently and politely telling you that your contract has been terminated and it's time to take a hike. The Top Five Female Brush-Off Phrases 1. "I think that we're really just in different places in our lives..." 2. "My plate is just so full. You know, I've got a lot of pressure at work and my sick mother to take care of, and my volunteer church activities, and my acting class. There's really no room in my life for a relationship now" or "I'm just not ready for a relationship..." (fill in the blanks here.) 3. "I think we need to take some time off." And the variation: "I need some space right now." 4. "Something has changed. I don't even know what it is," which often leads into the dreaded, "It's not you... it's me." 5. And my favorite, "I love you, but I am not happy." you're outta there, dude. Whether the two of you have been together for two months or two years, any of these phrases uttered from your woman's pretty, pouty lips spell doom and destruction for the relationship. So don't go into denial or scramble to talk her out of it when you get slammed with one of these. If she uses any of these five terms, it means her Interest Level has sunk below the critical 50% mark and all the talking and counseling in the world ain't gonna make one iota of a difference. Remember guys - never try to keep someone who doesn't want to keep you.

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